…for anyone in this country to walk around a supermarket unaided. It seems that every Thomas, Richard and Harriet finds solo shopping so unpalateable and unpredictable that their only option is to phone a loved / liked / tolerated / despised one to assist them in their pursuit of grocery ownership.

Although this in itself does not necessarily constitute a problem, it does lead to a proliferation of dazed zombified pricks wandering the aisles and most importantly of all, said dazed zombified pricks constantly getting in my fucking way.

I call on Tesco, Sainsburys and all other supermarkets to invest heavily in radio jamming technology to rid our shopping emporia of these ballbags once and for all.

This menace must be eradicated.

L

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