I have just walked past 2 children, one on a perfectly normal bike, the other peddaling a small plastic tractor along the pavement.

I had an (almost) overwhelming urge to swagger up to the wannabe Young Farmer, grin smugly, and utter the words ‘mate, that’s a shit tractor’, before walking away, leaving a disillusioned child in my wake.

I don’t  know why I felt compelled to do this, but the very fact that I did not makes me feel slightly less evil and joyless – on the outside at least.

To be fair though, it was a particularly shit tractor.