Archive for July, 2007


Asda’s new “man aisle”. Probably a coincidence but aisle twelve was beers and wines. I like to think that someone did all of this on purpose.

asdamanaisle1.jpg

*edit* – I feel like I have failed, having overlooked the location of AA and AAA remote control batteries.

The following needs no explanation other than to say that I spotted it when going to visit someone in hospital. It sounds like a particularly unpleasant place to be.

eyelounge.jpg

I’m stunned that a cock-manglingly large operation such as Tesco could allow this to happen, but I’m glad it did.

I nearly died laughing when I spotted this, as did the nearby Tesco employee once I’d let her in on the joke – I felt obligated to explain why I was taking a picture of a photo booth (in itself mildly ironic I imagine) in the middle of a supermarket,  in order not to appear like a raving madman.

Anyway, please see below for one of the most sensationally wonderful corporate marketing disasters I have ever witnessed.

everylittlehelps.jpg

Thanks to the diligence of Asda staff I am the less than proud owner of a ‘tagged’ bottle of expensive single malt. Good to see that it didn’t even set the alarms off as I walked out of the shop.

All I need to do now is get it a shell-suit and an ASBO.

ancient_security.jpg

Without wishing to remove my brain and dive head first into the current national passtime of unabashed muslim-bashing, intentionally or otherwise, I have encountered another incidence of pointless PC pish that I Do Not Like.

I walked into a hospital ward yesterday to find posters on the ceiling indicating the direction of Qibla (Mecca).

As far as I’m concerned, if you have a religion that is so all-consuming that it requires you to have a perpetual grip on which direction you are facing in case you fancy a bit of a pray, there are two options:

1) Rely on local authorities and public sector organisations to help you out, at their expense, while making the place look untidy and irritating all and sundry with your special treatment.

2) Buy a fucking compass  (or even a GPS unit – you’re Muslim, not Amish after all).

I was going to leave it there but thanks to a miniature Google-fest, I note that there there is now another option:

http://www.qiblalocator.com/

Fill your boots – that is if you’re not PC enough to have taken them off and left them outside… in which case you should no doubt be ashamed of yourself…

L

Amusing.

It amuses me greatly when I’m out and about just how many wonderfully patriotic individuals there are driving around displaying their national pride (and generally speaking, their Sun-reading latent racism) to the masses by adorning their chariots with the flag of this (once) great nation of ours.

However…

They’re so patriotic that the biggest single asset that they have acquired (houses and other property aside) is foreign – built abroad by a foreign workforce working in a foreign factory using foreign components, thereby ensuring that their staunch patriotism and financial outlay benefits every country apart from the one they would have you believe they prize so highly. The only way the UK benefits is in terms of the taxes levied on the import and purchase of the car in the first place.

These are, incidentally, the same people who bitch and complain that there isn’t really a UK motor industry any more.

Anyone else seeing the link?

I’m rarely one to cite France / The French as a shining example of anything (barring Nazi collaboration, which they’ve a proven track record of being pretty good at) but have you ever noticed how the French almost exclusively drive French cars? France has a pretty buoyant motor industry as a result, in fact Renault own Nissan which is a pretty good indication of their size and success.

Anyway, cutting to the chase, patriotism goes beyond putting a few flags on your car and trying to convince the outside world of your loyalties – it involves using your brain once in a while, assuming that independent rational thought is within your skill-set.

Further irony can be found in this:

Have a good think about the kind of person that is typically associated with flag-waving ‘patriotism’. Now have a think about the kind of person the country would be a better place without. 

I’m sure I don’t have to draw the venn diagram for you.